You And Only You
I wanted to believe that I was open;
The notion of sharing you or myself
With another was something I tried on…
Like shoes I so badly wanted to fit into.
I wore the idea around for a while -
Dabbled in experiences here and there,
Tip-toed around opening myself up to infinite possibilities…
Once so closed and parochial in my beliefs.
Caged in and contracted in how I interacted.
Shedding all the lies and weight felt right.
Gone were my fear-based choices of needing out of desperation.
Gone were the delusional voices of equating my worth to “his” wanting me.
My world opened up.
As I let go of limiting perspectives of forced monogamy,
Trying to expand my skewed psychology,
I called in reflections -
Mirrors that were as wild and free as this newfound me.
Yes, I was finally free.
And so was love.
What a concept that was.
I breathed through my internal tension
Because ascension was the bi-product of my discomfort.
And giving into any sort of apprehension
Was a reflection of my own stunted growth.
Boundaries were moot.
So I set you and me free
To be with whomever we wanted.
Turning my back on past conventions,
Leaning into this utopian dimension,
Accepting this notion that all love is ONE love.
I can share you.
………I can share you.
……………..I can share you.
Until my feet blistered and bled so badly,
That I couldn’t walk anymore…
And I was finally able to see
That these shoes were never meant to fit me.
I had to trek this convoluted terrain
To reclaim my authentic voice…
My choice was always,
You and only you.
The Feminine Heart
I spent my whole life searching for love outside of myself; it wasn't until I found it within me that he appeared.
"Love in The City: Tales from the Feminine Heart" is a column devoted to vulnerably conveying the words of my heart through the unfolding of the greatest love I've ever known.
Jessica Winterstern B.Sc., M.Ed., M.A., is an intimacy and relationship coach who helps women and men discover the love they've been yearning for all their lives. Learn more about Jessica at www.jessicawinterstern.com and follow her at@jessicawinterstern and @thefeminineheart